Friend of Duluthian comes out of the woodwork

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1. Herzog on March 4, 2015 at 10:16 am

   Parenting magazine released its annual list of the best and worst places to raise a child this week, once again naming the Mariana Trench—an undersea chasm located 36,000 feet beneath the western Pacific Ocean—as the least desirable location for rearing children.

   The periodical’s staff reportedly selected amongst thousands of locations, weighing a diverse range of criteria such living costs, air quality, and local amenities, categories for which the pitch-black, silt-covered abyss unanimously received an “F” rating.

   In all categories, the Mariana Trench consistently got our lowest marks as a good place to start a family,” the 14-page article read in part. “The school system is nonexistent, the nearest playground is 300 nautical miles away, and at over 15,000 pounds per square inch, the hydrostatic pressure is enough to crush a child in less than a second.

   The Onion has swept the legs time and again. One of my all-time favorites is “U.S. to re-hang Saddam Hussein.”

   I think they choose Duluth because it sounds funny to someone who isn’t used to hearing it, it’s prominent on the U.S. map as the western terminus for the Great Lakes, perhaps to aid in our recovery, and/or they’ve simply done that many articles to evenly disperse all the cities over 50k on the U.S. map nine times over.

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