Quiet Santa preserves tradition for kids with sensory needs

Each year, as the snow begins to fall, families crowd into chaotic shopping centers and join the staggered lines, waiting for their turn to meet Santa Claus. It’s a beloved holiday tradition, but it can be overwhelming for children with sensory processing challenges.

Among the smiling, happy faces found on a Google image search for “kids on Santa’s lap” are many photos of wailing youngsters squirming on Santa’s knee while he tries to keep a pleasant and slightly strained smile, unsure of what to do next.

Recognizing the need for a more subdued St. Nick to greet children with autism or other sensory needs, Fairlawn Mansion in Superior held its first Quiet Santa event in 2021.

Patrick and Sandy Baumann, both retired special education teachers, happily make the hour-long drive from Virginia to Superior three nights each year to put on the wigs, boots and coats before meeting with children in free, private, 30-minute sessions.

“We got asked by a person once why we’re willing to drive this far for three nights,” Patrick said. “When you see a child’s eyes light up and their smile beam, you sit back and you go, thank you, I need nothing more.”

Jordan Stish, manager of Superior Historic Properties, which operates and manages Fairlawn Mansion, said the program is a special one for staff at Fairlawn.

“Our community was really looking for something that was really accessible for folks that maybe couldn’t or didn’t feel comfortable with the traditional Santa experience,” he said.

Compared to the traditional rushed meet and greet, the half-hour slot eliminates the chaos and allows kids with extra sensory needs to slow down. This way, they can take their time getting comfortable in a new environment and warm up to Santa and Mrs. Claus.

Janelle Roe, a mother whose son was diagnosed with autism last year, returned for a second Quiet Santa experience this year.

“At first, I wasn’t ready to jump into the autism world yet,” Roe said, referencing her 2024 visit. “We went and it was the most amazing experience we ever had. It was just so sweet that the community took time to recognize these kids still deserve a visit with Santa.”

This year, Roe brought one of her friends, Michelle Vanderflute, who she met in an autism support group. Vanderflute was in a similar situation with her 3-year-old son Liam, nervous about how he would respond to the new experience.

When Liam entered the room he was hesitant and began pacing and running in and out of the room.

Patrick noticed Liam’s hesitation and slowly got down onto the floor with him, meeting him at his level, and after about 15 minutes Liam began to warm up.

Patrick sang some of the boys’ favorite songs, including “Five Little Monkeys,” which caught Liam’s attention.

“Liam likes counting,” Vanderflute said.

Suddenly, something clicked and Liam realized Mr. and Mrs. Claus were singing for him.

“They understood him and they made such an effort to get him out of his world and interact,” Vanderflute said.

By the end of the session, the room felt playful and relaxed. They were tickling each other and singing songs. Liam was making a notable amount of eye contact and even initiated a hug with Santa.

Vanderflute started to cry.

“I never thought we would be able to experience Santa this way,” she said.

Soon, both mothers were in tears while their sons played unafraid on the floor.

“There’s not a lot of places where our kids can go, where they can be themselves, truly themselves, and this was a place that was set up for them,” said Roe.

Vanderflute felt her child had been seen and recognized in a way she never thought would be possible. Until then, Vanderflute wasn’t sure if Liam even understood what Christmas was; now he was singing songs and hugging Santa Claus on his own terms, which is extremely rare for him.

“It’s unusual for a child on the autism spectrum to seek out another person for any kind of emotional interaction, they’re usually very much in their own space,” Patrick said, acknowledging Liam’s invitation for physical contact.

For three nights of the year, the first floor of Fairlawn is lit up with quiet Christmas spirit. There, the Baumann’s sit, soft spoken, in their red felt chairs, which hang low to the ground, prepared for any scenario a child might throw their way.

“You accept the child for who they are, because that’s who they are,” Patrick said. “Their joy in Santa is going to be expressed however they’re going to express it, some will ho, ho, ho, some will dance, and some just stare.”

The annual Quiet Santa event is beloved to families all around Minnesota and Wisconsin, some even traveling more than two hours to get their magic moment with Santa. The families that aren’t able to make it can request a personal video-gram, making sure no child misses out on the Christmas spirit.

Last year, when Stish took over as manager, her predecessor requested only one thing from her.

“When we were passing the torch she said, ‘You have to do Quiet Santa. You can cut any other program I’ve ever done, but keep Quiet Santa.’ So it’ll be an event we do every year, regardless of who’s here,” Stish said.

Quiet Santa is unlike any of the Santa Claus roles Patrick has taken on in the past 20 years, including visiting the preschool of his daughter, Caitlin Baumann, who now volunteers at the museum.

“You’ll be volunteering until you’re 100,” Caitlin said to Patrick with a laugh, suggesting the Quiet Santa event has a long future.

“It can be very challenging, but it is worth every moment,” Patrick said. “When you see a child that takes 20 minutes to settle in, and then they take a breath and they just beam with a smile, that’s a gift you cannot wrap.”